I would like to say that the Daniel fast was a time of extreme clarity. Well, I guess it was in a way, but not in the way one might think. What is the scripture? "His ways are not our ways, his thoughts are higher than our thoughts...." He answered my prayer of clarity, but in an unexpected way. There is NOT a definite path lit up for me to follow after the Daniel fast. Actually, quite the opposite. I feel like the fog is thicker and my 'sight' is not so great about what lies ahead. But at the same time, there is so much clarity about my faith and in whom I trust. That seems like the easy answer when there is no other; I know, but it is true. I have learned so so much about walking by faith; submitting to the will of God, even when it is not clear. Daily trusting Him and his plans for me and our family.
One thing, I have learned is that right now, this is destined to be a season of waiting on the Lord. This 'fog' is here, blinding me to my path because it is not for me to see at this given time. It is a faith building exercise that only comes to its end by taking one step at a time.
There are some things presented as options right now. The place where Jon is working currently, seems to have some interest in keeping him on full time with a career that suits his skills and education. He also had an interview with Devon Energy last week as a financial analyst. He recently received an email inviting him to an interview in June for a train dispatcher school in Fort Worth for the fall semester. None of these options has come to fruition. But more than ever, I know God is working all things for good; because we DO love Him.
On the home front, our recent childcare situation for Maggie Beth (of which we had so much confidence in) has fallen apart. This has caused some stress on me and Jon as we search for someone who will care for her the way we do. But the truth is, no one will care for my kids and invest in them like we do. For that reason, I am eagerly trying to arrange my work load and office hours where I can spend the majority of them at home with Maggie Beth.
During the Daniel Fast, I prayed intently about homeschooling. Yes, let me say it again "h-o-m-e-s-c-h-o-o-l." That 10 letter word that used to make me scrunch my face at the thought of being my children's teacher. What a work the Lord has done on me! (More on that later).
Overall, the lesson I have learned is to take my focus off of seeking God's hand in the situation and focus on seeing his face! He has more for me than just plans! He has a relationship waiting for me that only comes through trusting, praying, seeking, (sometimes lamenting), listening, praising and waiting on Him. In this time of waiting, with his purpose in mind, he will reveal to me and to our family what he has in store for us. He is worthy to be praised.....
Trust
12 years ago