He speaks Part 3

The next part of this particular Daniel fast was to read the story of King David and his building an alter to sacrifice something. The gist of the story is that David was to build and alter. He approached a man about some materials and the man said "I will just give them to you." David said, "no I will pay you full price for the materials for the alter for what good is my sacrifice if it doesn't cost me..."

So the devotion for that day asked me to think of something to sacrifice. It needed to be something I could give daily until the fast was complete. I began to think (which was the first problem). I thought to myself "I will give up coffee." But not having coffee was part of the fast itself. I thought "I will sacrifice my Christmas bonus from the church. I will write a check to Mary's Kids in the amount of my bonus!" No that wouldn't work because it had to be a daily sacrifice. Something that would be "inconvenient or stretch me beyond my comfort" so the description said. Okay.....

I began about my day and started to pray about what God would have me sacrifice. Then it hit me like a bolt! Make-up....

"Oh no Lord, surely not make-up." I am not a vain person, and I often went without it (at my own choosing). My mind began to bounce around all the places and events I would attend over the next 3 weeks where I would have to show my pale uneven skin tone. I closed my eyes and sighed. Okay Lord. If you have something to teach to me in this, I am willing to sacrifice make-up for the next 3 weeks.

And so I attended a New Year's party the following day without make-up. There were little cuties with perfectly shadowed eyelids and sparkly lip gloss accented by peach cheeks and eyelashes to die for in the room. Some were good friends. Some were people I didn't know; and here there I sat without a stitch of make-up. I attended church the following day without make-up. Work was not that difficult because I am pretty much alone during that time anyway. I took Price to school and picked him up without make-up on. I attended a girls brunch with some besties (who kept telling me they couldn't really tell I was without make-up, yeah right, but thanks girls : ) They too are all very beautiful. One who is a red haired bombshell with a natural knack for pulling off eclectic and chic. One who was a former Mrs. Oklahoma 2010 (need I say more) and another who has a very polished and trendy touch. And then there was me.

When all was said and done with sacrificing make-up, I learned a lot about myself. I learned I use make-up to conceal what I don't want others to see (blemishes, redness, uneven skin tone, dark spots or circles). I highlight what I want them to see (glossy lips, long eyelashes and perfectly peached cheeks). How reflective that is of my life! Not only in my relation to others but to my God who sees right through "concealer." He is not fooled by my mask. He sees right into my heart. He knows this smile means nothing when my heart is breaking. There is no fooling him into thinking I am better off than I really am. He knows. He cares. He loves me.

All in all the fast was a very spiritual experience for me. The sacrifice of make-up was the most challenging for me. More than the food. I will post again with specific things that were revealed to me during this time of praying for clarity.

He Speaks. Part 2

The next mornings devotion (following the 21 Day Fast from the YouVersion Bible app) was the explanation of the Daniel Fast and where it comes from. Daniel asked to be fed only vegetables and water and not feast on the king's food. His body became lean and impressive to the king...and you probably know the rest of the story. Not realizing what I had signed up for, I had to do some research about the Daniel Fast, and there is plenty of information out there. Luckily, I was on fire to do this. I know God answered my prayer. Not only did He answer my prayer of '"should I be fasting, Lord?" He also answered the "Can you hear me?" question in Daniel 10. I was ready to pour my heart out and listen intently to what He had to say to me.

After a grocery shopping trip with a basket FULL of produce (broccoli, apples, bananas, oranges, strawberries, baby carrots, lettuce...lots of lettuce, squash, bell peppers, sweet potatoes and even kale!)

The purpose of the fast is to be disciplined with what we eat as an act of service. To humble ourselves before God. Hunger reminds us to pray. Our desire for sweets, meats and dairy remind us to pray. I have never spent so much time in prayer. I prayed every time I prepared myself something to eat within the boundaries of the fast. I could only have water to drink! Which was hard for a coffee, tea, soda, lemonade, juice...anything but water girl. I kept reminding myself that water is all my body needed to stay hydrated. I likened it to the living water Christ offers; a sort of 'back to the basics' mentality; both physically and spiritually.

I had asked God to reveal to me what it was he had planned for our family. I not only wanted to see his hand working in my situation; I LONGED and still do to see his face. I wanted to journey through the fast knowing God would show himself faithful to give me clarity...about something. Anything.

He speaks. Part 1

Over the last several months, we have been in a season of waiting. My sweet husband is working a job that serves us well in the meantime, but we know it is not a long term job. To say we are grateful for this job would be a severe understatement! God is so in tune with what we need, even when we don't know it. As we have been 'waiting on the Lord' to direct our path, we have been so thankful even though we can't see what lies ahead. Jon's current job was given to him by a friend of ours who owns a company in our hometown. Jon works in the lab mixing chemicals (he wears the body suit and goggles). He goes to work at 6 and works until 2:30. Most days he picks Price up from school at 3:10 p.m. During wrestling season, he officiates in the evenings on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and all day on Saturdays.

Through our season of waiting, I have done a lot of praying. On a Wednesday, December 28th I believe it was, I was praying in the shower. I call the shower my prayer closet. I do A LOT of praying in the shower! I was asking God, maybe lamenting a bit; talking to him about wanting direction; wanting to see His hand moving in our uncertainty. I asked "God, should I be fasting? What should I fast? How long? What should I do so I can hear your voice clearly in my life and in our season of waiting? Lord, do you hear my prayers?"

The next day, I was sharing with Jon how through the uncertainty of knowing what God had in store for our future, I have not ever felt fearful of the unknown. Later that night I woke from a terrible dream about a snake slithering around my feet. I remember saying in my dream "if the snake bites me on my foot, I will lose my foot. If it bites me on my hand, I will lose my hand..." Adrenaline was racing through my veins. My heart was beating fast. Instantly, I fears went from dreaming about a scary snake, to things that were completely irrational. Fears for my children's health, my health, our safety and lives. Crazy things that I don't normally think about. A spirit of fear had overcome me. Knowing immediately that this type of fear was NOT of God, I reached for my iphone on the nightstand. I opened my Bible app. The bright screen made me squint my eyes as I adjusted to its light. At the top of the screen it said "The Daniel Fast" Knowing I needed God's word to calm me, I tapped the scripture reading; never mind how I ended up on a Bible Plan for a 21 day Fast! Daniel chapter 10. Daniel sees a vision of a messenger. It frightens him (I could relate to that at the moment). In verse 10 the vision touches Daniel, and in verse 12 he says "Don't be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer." Oh my goodness!! Chills ran down my arms and back. These are God's words to me in response to my prayer yesterday!.....

Verse 14 "Now I am here to explain what will happen to your people in the future, for this vision concerns a time yet to come." Verse 19 "Don't be afraid, for you are very precious to God. Peace! Be encouraged! Be strong!"

I felt the ever present Holy Spirit comfort me in my fear. It seemed more than that even. A calm and a peace indescribable washed over me. I re-read the passage; and again. I was shocked and humbled and amazed at how personal God is. HE SAW ME IN MY FEAR. He came with his Holy Spirit to comfort ME. I fell asleep picturing God being aware of everything (even bad dreams) that concerns me. I slept soundly in His love that night. I woke excited to read the next day's devotion of the Bible plan I had 'stumbled' upon at midnight. Just 2 days ago I had been asking God in the "prayer closet" if I should be fasting. He obviously answered with a resounding "Yes, child!" And so it began.....