Today, I watched two babies (for 2 of my friends) in addition to my nearly 4 year old son, Price. Addison is 9 months old and Lynnie is 5 months old. Addison can crawl all over the place, but is not yet walking and Lynnie is not yet able to sit on her own. As I was juggling diapers, wipes, bottles and pacifiers and playing musical chairs with walkers, bumbos and johnny jumpers, I felt so humbled.
My husband, Jon and I have been trying to have another baby for the last 2 years. After four miscarriages and many appointments with a fertility doctor, we still are waiting for another child. As I played and rocked the baby girls today, I watched Price. I studied him. He is so wonderful with the babies. He talks to them with a tender voice and called each of them "sweet baby girl." (He actually says "grearl", which makes it even more cute!) He shared his toys and laughed at their silly ways. He would get in each of their faces and just smile. I giggled and asked him what he was doing, and he said "waiting for her to smile back at me." At one point, he thundered up the stairs in a rush and returned with one of his favorite books about zoo animals. With Lynnie in the jumper and Addison sitting next to him, he opened the book and showed the girls all the pictures. "Dolphins live in the big water and they are blue. Giraffes have long necks and like to eat leaves."
I say all of this because God is showing me a new picture of what my family is going to look like. We had planned to have another child alot closer in age to Price, but that is not the plan God has for us. After letting go of the image of what I thought it would be like, I am starting to not only know in my head that God is in control, but FEEL that TRUST in HIS plan and HIS timing.
I love that when I was feeding one of the babies, Price said "Mama, when you are done feeding Lynnie, can I have some pretzels and juice?" I love that when we have another child, he will be old enough to better understand and practice patience. I love that I will have had these precious infant, toddler and pre-school years with him alone. I love that when our next child joins our family, Price will be at school during the day and I will have that one on one time with the baby. I love that we will have at least 5 years between buying a car when they turn 16! I love that we will only have one child in college at a time! I love that God knows what is best for me and Jon and Price!
Trust
12 years ago
No comments:
Post a Comment